Blog of A Plodding Visionary
Archive for September, 2011
What breaks the cycle?
04 months ago
It’s been said that “hurt people hurt people”.
Those who have experienced pain are the most likely to dish it out… maybe in a form of retribution, or else so accustomed to it that it comes naturally.
Yet in this fallen world, it is unfortunately inevitable that each one of us will at some point or another experience pain. And it is also inevitable that each one of us will cause someone else pain. So then the logical conclusion is that it will be a never-ending vicious cycle of spreading hurt after hurt. In fact, pain and victimization may even become the lens through which people see the world, effectively interpreting all social interaction as a means of receiving, or inflicting, pain.
How are we to escape this ugly cycle, where everywhere we look we see people hurting each other, being damaged by one another; or we see those to whom we have personally caused pain?
Our focus must change. We have to stop looking horizontally and instead look upward – outside the dimension of the vicious cycle. The only escape is to look to Christ for freedom from this destructive pattern. Looking around, all we see is the messes we have made. But by focusing upward – focusing on Christ – we ought to instead see forgiveness, mercy, and an end to the cycle in the form of forgiveness. By being forgiven, we can forgive. Let’s try some new statements:
“Forgiven people forgive people.”
In Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus how many times he ought to forgive a brother that sinned against him, and suggested a generous number… seven times. But Jesus told him he ought to forgive not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Or 490 times; the translation isn’t always clear. Either way, a number that feels like infinity.) Jesus then told the parable of the servant who had a great debt cancelled, but refused to cancel a small one. That servant did not comprehend the magnitude of what he had been freed from! Do we understand the depth of our depravity; our great propensity toward sin and the pain it causes, and then comprehend the magnitude of being forgiven from it? If so then how can we hold offenses others commit against us over their heads? If our sin sent Jesus to the cross, and he willingly went, demonstrating that kind of love, then why is it so hard to release others from even a small offense? Is it that we do not really grasp how much we are loved?
“Loved people love people.”
If we look to one another for affirmation, assurance, “props”, and rewards for good deeds, then because of the aforementioned vicious cycle we will soon run dry and feel incapable of doing anything more. But that is indicative of someone who is drawing from the wrong source! The love of God will not run short. A Christian cannot lose God’s love or fall out of his favor. So then, there is a steady supply of affirmation, assurance, and sustenance throughout all that God has called his people to. If we look around us to be sustained, we won’t last long. But if we look to God for renewal, and his favor is what matters most, then we have a never-ending deep supply of love to share. “You can only love as much as you have been loved” is a true statement. How much does the Father love you? Do you believe that he sees every step you take, orchestrates all things (yes, even the pain) to reveal even more of his love to you, so that everything you have – and anything anyone other than God can provide – falls short? (see earlier post, “Burning Down the Bunker” for an illustration of this)
Breaking the cycle of pain is hard. It’s a thankless job – turning the other cheek, forgiving those who continue to abuse, and seeming to allow others to run all over you. But it is the way of forgiveness and love. It’s the way God chose to reconcile his people to himself – by sending Jesus to break the cycle by taking the sin and pain so that the Father’s love and forgiveness could be made known. And so, loved people love people. Forgiven people forgive people. All because of the Father’s love – caring too much for his own to let them continue in the cycle of hurting and being hurt.
“Cast your burden on Yahweh, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. But you, O God, will cast them down into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.”
(Psalm 55:22–23 ESV)
Forgiveness…
05 months ago
How well do you forgive? Most of us probably think we do a pretty good job of it — at least compared to all the things done to us! But tonight’s discussion put forgiveness in a more challenging light: how many times do you forgive someone before you draw the line and require them to change?
“Cheap forgiveness” is when it’s relatively easy to say, “I forgive you.” The damage was minimal, and you move on. But it’s not even forgiveness at all if it’s followed by, “And don’t ever do it again.” And then true, deep forgiveness is when you take a big loss, and you can’t forgive in your own strength, because you alone don’t even have that much to give… maybe to the point where it almost feels like death…
…remember, Christians, THAT’S what your forgiveness consists of: we are forgiven because Christ died in our place.
Perfectionism, Legalism, and the Conscience
15 months ago
The small group study that I host, and periodically have the privilege of leading, is going through World Harvest Mission’s Sonship course. This is my second time through, so it has been interesting to compare notes taken this year with notes from 2008, to see what is the same and what has changed. Today we focused on “My Liberated Conscience”, a message by Rose Marie Miller. One thing she said caught our attention — that our consciences are often used against us. This is not something that’s often talked about; conventional wisdom even in most Christian circles is to “follow your conscience” when it makes “noise”.
A “noisy” conscience can seem to be a good thing, but we must be careful to try to discern between legitimate promptings of the Spirit as opposed to the concerns of the flesh. Our own desire for approval from others can lead to all actions being evaluated based on what others might think, which then lead to illegitimate conscience pangs — more concern over others’ responses than what is actually right. This may lead us into fear, so that we don’t do what we ought because of how it might be viewed by others, or to “play it safe” and miss a bold act of love for the Kingdom. Furthermore, one tactic of Satan is to relentlessly accuse Christians, to weaken us, get us to doubt our forgiveness, and think there’s something we need to do and keep doing in order to get it back. “Try harder or you’re not good enough” is not from the Holy Spirit, but rather an assault by Satan, intended to drive us into legalism or perfectionism.
Perfectionism and legalism go hand in hand, and are anti-Gospel. How so? Perfectionism says “Something is wrong with me unless I can do at least 100 percent” when it comes to performance, planning, organization, or possibly life in general. The Law – God’s standard of righteousness – demands perfection. A legalist is someone who tries to attain it through their actions (or get as close as possible) — essentially, a moral perfectionist. But with the Law, anything less than one hundred percent compliance is still not enough; it might as well be zero. And of course it is not even possible to attain one hundred percent compliance to the moral standard, one hundred percent of the time — so the legalist and perfectionist are guaranteed to experience failure and frustration.
The Gospel provides the way of escape. It says, “100% is required. Here is that 100%. It’s yours; that 99.9% you thought you had is zero.” See how freeing that is? That doesn’t mean you don’t try to do your best, and doesn’t mean that it’s not important to do what’s right, but it does mean the pressure’s off. Be free to live, to love, and enjoy what God brings, and to be a part of what he is doing. There is no need to regret good intentions misinterpreted, good works that caused a stir, or to do your best and feel like it’s not enough. What matters is doing the right thing, by God’s grace, free from fear, doubt, and concern. The Gospel means we’ve been given this. We are accepted by God — so who cares what anyone else thinks!
Food for thought on this Saturday night…
